Meaning Of The Modern Life
by narwhalpuppy
Summary: Heifer dares Rocko go to the Classic RockStock concert to search for the meaning of life. Rocko goes wild. They both get messed up with a female concert goer in more ways than one. Is there drug use and beer drinking? Yes there is!


Author's Note: This Rocko fanfiction is based on the Animaniacs episode Who's On Stage. And also the Family Guy subplot with Brian and Stewie from This Little Piggy. In retrospect, Rocko's Modern Life should've done an episode where they meet The Who and other classic rock bands in concert. Why did Animaniacs get to have all that fun? Enjoy this fanfiction!

Rocko's Modern Life Presents

A Narwhal Puppy Production

Meaning Of The Modern Life

It was Friday morning in the city known as O-Town. Rocko the wallaby was sleeping in bed about ready to face the day and go to his usual job at the local Comic Book store. Rocko was awaken by an abrupt noise that was coming from miles away outside. The noise was the intro to the Led Zeppelin song, "Since I've Been Loving You". Rocko's eyes burst open as soon as he heard the music and screamed, thus scaring away his bull terrier dog, Spunky. Rocko got up. "Well, Spunky. Another day, another job at the comic book store. But I can't help but wonder where that noise came from."

Spunky was hiding under the kitchen table. Rocko tried to convince him there was nothing to be afraid of. "Sorry I scared you like that, Spunky. It's just that I'm not used to waking up with sudden noise from outside". Spunky understood, up until the Led Zeppelin song, "Kashmir" played loudly from outside making Spunky run away again. "Guess there's no reassuring that dog sometimes." Rocko remarked. Rocko put on his light blue blouse with the pink squares, his sneakers and was now off to work. Then Rocko hears a knock on the door he goes to answer it. Heifer was at the door. "Hey, Hef. Are you going to take me to work this morning?" asked the wallaby to his steer friend. "Work? Work Schmork!" Heifer said. "What does that mean?" asked Rocko who was totally puzzled. "Who needs to go to work on a day like this". Heifer boasted very excitedly.

"Not quite sure what you're getting at here." said Rocko. "Don't you know what today is?" asked Heifer. "Does it have to do with that rock music outside?" inquisited Rocko. "Of course! Today is the Classic RockStock concert! All the old bands from the 60's and 70's are going to be there!" answered Heifer. "Oh that's what that racket was about." said Rocko.

"Do you want to come?" asked Heifer. Now Rocko wasn't the kind of animal who would let anyone drag him away from what he needed to do, that's all different especially when Heifer is involved. "Don't drag me along when I have to go to work..." Rocko was cut off when Heifer said, "Don't be such a Filbert, dude! Led Zeppelin is playing now! Not only them, Bachman Turner Overdrive, Pink Floyd, The Who, Jethro Tull, Chicago, Rolling Stones, ELO, Fleetwood Mac, Black Sabbath, and the Clash are all going to be there! And I want a friend I can take! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please!" begged the steer.

For once, Rocko decided to give in. "All right, I'll go. It's just one day at work, anyway! I can make up for it on Monday!" agreed Rocko. "YAY! Classic RockStock, here we come!" cheered Heifer as him and Rocko went in his car to head for the concert.

"Isn't this fun, Rock! While we're there perhaps we can find out the meaning of life!" said Heifer. "Guess so. That's always the excuse to go to a road trip to a concert." said Rocko. "On forward! To Classic RockStock! And to discover the meaning of life!" cheered Heifer. "I already know the meaning of life. You're born, you work, you die." said Rocko having mixed feelings of both regret and satisfaction that he took this risk. "Now we can find out if there's more to life than what you just said!" said Heifer.

On their way, Heifer was driving to the concert as he was almost there. "You're not going to play that bagpipe CD of The Saturday Night Fever soundtrack again are you?" asked Rocko recalling that experience when they went on that Road Trip to Phelgm Rock. "I don't need that. Not when I'm going to see bands in person!" said Heifer who then points to the concert. "Look! We're here!". Rocko said, "Hope fully this will be better than when we tried to get a foul ball at a baseball game!"

"Forget past memories Rocko! Let's make some new ones now!" Heifer suggested. Everyone at the concert were all residents of O-Town dressed in 60's or 70's style clothes. Rocko and Heifer got out of the car, Heifer put on his sunglasses that looked thin and had pink shades. "If I didn't know any better, everyone here looks like they're at Woodstock!" said Rocko. "That's the whole point." said Heifer as he took off his clothes and Rocko's too. "Wait! We're not going nude are we?" asked Rocko. "No, silly! We need to blend in!" said Heifer. Rocko was now dressed in a tye dye shirt and Heifer in a striped blouse and brown slacks with vertical stripes down the middle. "Now we look the part!" said Rocko.

As soon as Led Zeppelin was done with their performance, The Who came on. Roger Daltry and Peter Townsend came out and they were performing their song, "Baba O'Reily Teenage Wasteland".

Rocko had no idea who they were. "Who is this noisy band!?" asked Rocko. "Who!" answered Heifer. "This band playing on stage." Rocko demanded! "Who!" said Heifer again. "The group playing on stage." Rocko said patiently. "Who!" Heifer repeated. "I'm asking the name of this band, Heifer!" "WHO!" Heifer said. "You're starting to sound like an owl there, Heifer!" Rocko retorted. "Who's on stage!" Heifer said once more. "That's what I'm asking. Who is on stage." asked Rocko. "And I'm telling you, Who!" Heifer said trying to tell Rocko the name of the band. "You said Who? Tell me their name." asked Rocko.

"Who!" Heifer kept telling Rocko. "You're doing that owl thing again, Heif! Now tell me the name of that BAND!" Rocko getting frustrated. "That's what I'm telling you, Rock! WHO's on stage!" Heifer said in an angry tone. "I'll ask again, what's the name of that band!" Rocko said almost at his breaking point. "WHO!" Heifer yelled. "The band that's playing...ON STAGE!" growled Rocko. "I'm telling you the answer!" yelled Heifer.

Both Rocko and Heifer were getting infuriated with each other. Rocko began to talk in a gruff sounding voice. "I asked once and I'll ask again. What is that bands name?!". "Who". Was Heifers obvious answer. Rocko jumped in the air, pulled his ears like he was going to rip them out of his head. Screamed really loud and his eyes popped out of his sockets. Rocko began to seethe until he stopped himself from wailing on Heifer.

"Let's start over! Is there a band on stage?" asked Rocko once more. "Yes." said Heifer. "Does that band have a name?" asked Rocko. "Yes!" said Heifer. "Do you know the name of that band?" asked Rocko. "Yes." said Heifer. "What is that band on stage! Are they called Yes?" said Rocko more calmer. "No, not Yes! They're not even here! It's Who!" said Heifer. "There you go again, what is the name of that BAND!" shouted Rocko in Heifer's face. "Who!" Heifer said. "That's what I ought to know" said Rocko. "And that's what I'm trying to tell you! WHO is on stage!" said Heifer.

Rocko takes off Heifer's glasses, "Give me these John Lennon glasses". Rocko looks at The Who on stage and was now enlightened. "Oh, that's what you were trying to say. The Who is on stage!" Rocko said feeling more glad he now knew what Heifer was talking about. "We came here to have fun!" said Heifer.

Bachman Turner Overdrive was now on stage. Rocko and Heifer were watching and enjoying the concert. And had a little too many beers. "Who would've thought these popular bands from back then would be here in O-Town". exclaimed Rocko. "Yes, and people want to say nothing happens in small towns!" agreed Heifer. Rocko and Heifer decided to explore the concert. A yard away there was a market. One that sold t shirts that read, "I'VE BEEN TO CLASSIC ROCKSTOCK CONCERT AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS SHIRT" Jewelry, shoes, musical instruments, etc. Rocko and Heifer see the women in the concert. "I gotta tell you Heifer, I am a big fan of sundresses. That girl I like Melba likes to wear them." Rocko said. "Yeah, every woman looks good in a sundress Rock!" Heifer agreed. "Wait for a big gust of wind, right? Heh, right!" Rocko continued the conversation. "Once the wind blows off, you can push up! Get it, Heif?" "Woah, Rock! Calm down, we're not here to do that. We are here to find the meaning of life!" said Heifer.

"Woah! You're right, Woah! Who's this Rocko, huh? Who's this Rocko! This is day drinking Rocko! On the patrol for fannies! YEAH!" cheered Rocko. "Usually, I'm the fun one and you're the serious one." Heifer said because he was shocked at Rocko's behavior. Heifer never thought Rocko would loosen up someday. Then the surprised steer stopped to think about that then said, "I like this new Rocko a lot better!" "Awesome!" said Rocko. "From this day forward, I am the new and improved Rocko! Always ready for a good time and some fannies! Fan-nies!" "That's the spirit, Rocko!" Heifer went to go get a drink at the market and Rocko went exploring alone for a while. Rocko and Heifer rejoined then Heifer was at a market tent that served beer. "Heifer!" Rocko called. "Rocko! How's it going man? Just getting another beer here for us!" said Heifer. "Great day isn't it!" said Rocko. "Best day ever!" said Heifer. "Four different bands say we're a great audience!" said Rocko. "I know, right! ELO, Black Sabbath, The Clash, and Led Zeppelin all said so!" Heifer answered. "The best part about this is people pass out barfing and that barf is free to take!" said Rocko. Heifer and Rocko look around and see the animals at the concert passing out and vomiting.

"Oh yes! Free Barf for everyone! Never thought I'd live to see the day you would like barf!" laughed Heifer. "Been drinking a lot of beer since I've been here! Beer makes you do stuff you never thought possible!" cheered Rocko. "Say listen to this. While I was walking around, I meet the most amazing girl!" said Heifer. "That's an understatement, Heif! Because I just meet an amazing girl myself. Maybe she's second best!" said Rocko. The two of them see a moose girl and both say, "There she is now!"

The Moose girl was wearing a light green sundress and sandals. She had a band around her forhead. "Hi, Guys! Hey Heifer! Hey Rocko!" called out the Moose girl. "Oh crap!" said Rocko. "How can a rock concert chick like two guys!?" questioned Heifer. "Want me to go get us something to eat?" asked the Moose Girl. "Sure!" Rocko and Heifer both answered then locked heads with each other and stopped themselves. "Follow me!" said the Moose Girl to Rocko and Heifer. Rocko and Heifer were being lead to the market tent that sells food. Couldn't help but be amazed that they liked the same girl. The Moose Girl was getting some burgers and fries for the three of them. "So we like the same girl. No reason why we can't be gentleman about this" Heifer stated. "Absolutely Heif! Our friendship is way more important than some rock concert groupie." Rocko was fine with it. "Not going to let it ruin my new fun streak, either!" The Moose girl joined the two. "Got us all some food." She reached into her pocket and got out a small bag of white powder. "Who wants this...jello bag!" asked the Moose Girl. Rocko and Heifer didn't know the Moose Girl's name yet. The band Pink Floyd was now playing.

"How do you eat jello powder?" asked Heifer. "Like this," The Moose girl demonstrated by licking the powder from inside the bag. Rocko was astounded by what he saw. "Wouldn't that give us germs?" he asked. "So what! I want to be next to lick!" said Heifer. Heifer then licked the inside. Rocko's turn came and he gave in, "All right! Want to be a fun risk taker now!" Rocko licked the powder inside the bag that went down the wrong throat and Rocko coughed until his heart came out of his mouth. Heifer put the heart back inside. "Must've never done this before." said The Moose Girl, "Don't worry, a few more hits and you'll get used to it." "Think I already am!" Heifer said as he thought he was seeing colors and floating. "Whatever was in that bag? I'm seeing things!" said Rocko who now was hallucinating himself unlike Heifer he was seeing trains and falling stars. "Those trains and stars are coming right for me!"

"You guys don't know what that is?" asked the Moose Girl looking at them like they were idiots. "Uhhhh, jello powder, right!" Heifer asked as he was jumping up and down thinking he was jumping on a Jello Mold. "It was cocaine!" conceded the Moose Girl. Rocko jumped in the air and screamed as fire came out of his mouth, "WE DID DRUGS!" as he ran towards the beer market tent and drank gallons of beer thinking it was water. "NEED WATER! WATER! WATER! MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE!" Rocko yelled. Mr. Smitty Rockos boss saw him drink all that beer and shouted, "That beer was for paying costumers! Why weren't you at work today!?"

Rocko still had visions. This time of flying fish, peacocks, and rats as he ran back to The Moose Girl and Heifer then said, "What in the world did I just do!" asked Rocko. "You had a bad trip!" started Heifer. Rocko then hollored proudly, "THAT WAS A HOOT!" "You stole my line! I was about to say that!" Heifer said sadly. "You men!" said The Moose Girl with her arms crossed. Rocko thought his new wild streak can impress the Moose Girl. Heifer had a thing for her too. Although they were getting along, Rocko and Heifer still had a rivalry about her.

Rocko now came back to his senses. "You guys are fun!" said the Moose Girl. "Tell me some more about yourselves!" "Rocko is allergic to jumbo shrimp!" said Heifer trying to impress her so she'll like him better. "A little heads up for ya mate! Heifer yells 'Whats happening' when he goes to the bathroom!" Rocko fought back. The Moose girl's name was Melissa. "Why don't you show Melissa Moose here your Chinese finger trap!" Heifer spurred at Rocko. "Melissa? That's her name? Anyway, Heifer has worms!" "Guys Guys! There's no need to fight! I was thinking we can all have a three person love-in!" suggested Melissa. "I don't have worms, by the way! And yes! We'd be happy to!" said Heifer. "I'm in too!" yelled Rocko.

Melissa leads the wallaby and steer into a tent she zipped the side of the tent closed for some privacy. Rocko and Heifer debate on how they want to have the love in. "So, Hef. How do you want to go about this?" asked Rocko. "How about I take her left side and you take her right?" suggested Heifer. "No way, mate! Why not tops and bottoms?" Rocko questioned. "Thought of something even better. You take her top side and I'll take her head, shoulder, knees and toes." concluded Heifer. "You can have those!" Rocko said. "You just gave away the store, mister! I hope wild Rocko stays around forever!" Heifer laughed. Melissa asked them, "Are you guys ready?" Before she approached Rocko and Heifer she got out a shot full of heroin and poked herself in the forearm.

Melissa slowly walks to them. "Let's get this party started!" Takes off her dress which made Heifer pee his pants. "What's happening!" Melissa took little steps then fell over and collapsed. Melissa the Moose was dead. "Is this the love in we were promised?" asked a confused Heifer. Rocko checked her pulse and his brain jumped out of his head and screamed. "SHE'S DDEEEEAAAAADDDDDD! She overdosed! We're in for it now!" "Just because she's out maybe there's other ways..." Heifer was interrupted as Rocko was going to give him a dose of reality. "No there aren't any other ways! We need to leave now!" said Rocko. "What? We can't leave here. Melissa had nobody, no family, no friends! Zip Diddily Squat!" Heifer stated. "How do you know all that?" Rocko asked suspiciously. Heifer intervened, "You said you were in love with her! Didn't you even bother to get to know her?" "I had some striking conversations with her..." Rocko said in his defense. "Oh really? What exactly do you know about her?" Heifer asked.

"I know she liked tents, cocaine, heroin, beer, and bleeding from her nose!" answered Rocko. "Wild Rocko my foot! The wild Rocko I just got acquainted with would've gotten to know her! And did other things to her! You're not fun and wild at all!" Heifer said. "Well, what about all that drinking and drugs I did to impress her? Isn't that considered wild in your book?" Rocko sneered.

Heifer and Rocko stare angerly at each other. On the verge of having a confrontation, until they both decide to let it go. "Let's not turn this into a fight over a girl. Come on, help me pick her up. We shouldn't have let a girl come between us anyway." "Perhaps you're right, Heifer." Rocko and Heifer both picked up the now dead Melissa Moose and carried her out of the tent. Rocko regretted, "I don't want to be Wild Rocko anymore." "I respect your decision. I like you for the timid, anal wallaby you are!"

Heifer was on the look out for police. "How long do I have to keep watching for the 5-0?" "Come on, Heifer lets get this over with. We do not want to be accused of a murder we didn't commit." Rocko was now trying to push the dead Melissa Moose into a cliff. "Slow down here Rock! Everyone needs a proper burial. My family has an old TV Box in our basement." Heifer said. "Fine, let's give a eulogy." "Melissa, sorry your life was so messed up that you almost had a love in with a steer and a wallaby." Heifer said sadly. Rocko wanted to say a few words, "But your life was not without meaning. Because of you I got in touch with a wild streak I never even knew I had before. Found out that there's more to life than working everyday at a dead end job." Heifer ended it with, "We came here to search for the meaning of life, thanks to you. We both did. Before we go, I lent you some money and you never gave it back, so I am going to take your bra!" Heifer took her Melissa's bra as him and Rocko pushed her off a cliff. Melissa's corpse fell into a pile of dead bodies that were in the crater of the cliff.

"Wow! Lots have died of overdoses at this things." Rocko said. "Let's enjoy the rest of the concert. Think Jethro Tull is up next." Heifer said. "You got it Heif! Jethro Tull here we come! Guess what Heif? "What's that?" "I'm Wild Rocko again!" "That's what I like to hear!"

Rocko and Heifer go watch Jethro Tull's performance at the concert. The next day, Heifer and Rocko were home. Rocko was reflecting about their time at the concert. "You know Heifer, I'm glad I took the risk to skip work to go to a concert with you. It was the best time we ever had!" "Expect for that Moose Girl." agreed Heifer. "We went to that concert to find the Meaning of Life. Have we ever found out what it was?" asked Rocko. "You know, I totally forgot about that. Must've been all the drugs and beer we did." "Perhaps we'll know someday. Maybe we just weren't ready to know yet." said Rocko.

The scene changes into a library setting. Gordon the disembodied foot came on and was reading a book. "After that, Rocko and Heifer went to Chokey Chicken for dinner. The End." Gordon then looked around back and forth then at the camera. "Are you parents gone kids? Good!" Gordon picked up another book and showed it to the camera. "Then let's get back to reading 'Murder Victim Autopsies!"

THE END

The Proceeding Has Been a Narwhal Puppy Production!

If any of you thought I overused the word "said" in this. Too bad. I'm happy with it the way it is!


End file.
